confessions

i blame everything going wrong/that makes me unhappy (and i'm pretty fucking unhappy) in my life on the fact that i didn't get in virginia. if i were a student there, i'd be happier for multiple reasons: i might feel more valuable and indispensable to S, i'd be doing better in rowing, i'd have closer friendships, i'd be closer to home, my family would like me better and be more proud of me, my grandparents would probably like me better, i'd have higher self-esteem, i'd be more successful in life etc, etc. i can't get it out of my head. i'm obsessed with uva. i'm desperate to go there and be a part of that collegiate community. it's sick. sorry.