this evening (morning?) at midnight marked the premiere of the third film installment of the twilight saga: eclipse. naturally, i was one of the twelve million tweens, sorry, "fans," who attended the midnight showing (in my defense i took my 12 year old sister, Lydz, as well).
at the beginning of the previews, the movie theater's manager came in and informed all of us in the theater that, if we were found texting during the show, they would come over and ask us to leave, and if we refused to leave, they would bring police into the theater to force us to leave.
it was a bit extreme if you ask me (although i was tempted to be THAT girl who gets forcibly removed from the twilight show by cops), but i adhered to the rules, which, unfortunately, disallowed me from tweeting my usual commentary to accompany the film.
in lieu of this disability, i made mental tweet notes in my head throughout the movie and have decided to compile them all into one blogpost
so, alas,
twilight: a movie review
the bad news is: kristin stewart still sucks.
seriously, does she try to look shittier in each scene or is that just my drowsiness?
the good news is: rpatz is as dashing as ever & still manages to portray ridiculously well that insane hunger for bella's blood (it's creepy but well done)
don't fret!
- taylor lautner still has uncomfortably/awkwardly small nipples
- kristin stewart still sucks
- there is still a collective grunt from the audience the first scene taylor lautner is shirtless
- the cullens are still sexy as ever
- the soundtrack is still fantastic
other comments:
i almost exploded in the opening scene when riley (newborn created by victoria to destroy the cullens), in pre-vampire state, stepped out of a building. why? because for a fleeting moment, i thought hunter parrish was onscreen. *droool*
i'm still a big fan of this field. seriously, favorite setting in all the twilight films is this bombass field. it's frickin' gorgeous.
since when does killing vampires equate to smashing glass? a vampire gets punched in the head and their head and neck just shatter. apparently killing newborn vampires requires the same skills readily handy in a drunken college freshman. angrily & drunkenly smashing windows = smashing vampire heads---you say potato, i say potato.
CHARLIE....YOU'RE A DILF. you, sir, may escort me out of the movie theater forcibly for texting ANY day
as dashingly handsome as the cullen coven is, are the fashionable biker jackets really necessary during battle?
dakota fanning. baby girl crush. awesome again as jane. 'nuff said.
all in all the film was pretty good--definitely better than the first two twilight films, but still annoyingly stupid (seriously...they should just cut the sex-y scenes out...they were too awkwardly done, i actually burst out laughing in the theater). i have yet to really derive any morals from the twilight series, except for maybe the following:
first, no pre-marital sex! if edward doesn't do it, than you shouldn't either!
and finally,
never trust a ginger.
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